Harvard psychologist explains how to argue when you are right…
When someone is arguing with you over something in which you are 100% right, it might be difficult for you to simply keep listening to the other person. However it’s the best thing to do. Fighting over just breeds negative energy. As per the psychologist Amy Cuddy of Harvard, the best thing to do is listening. Here details about explanation of Harvard psychologist how to argue when you are right.
Cuddy is the author of the book ”presence; Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges ” on the delicate yet powerful way, our behavior can influence our thought and emotions.
In a recent public talk with ‘quiet’ author Susan Cain, cuddy admits that the biggest challenges came in personal relationships, particularly with husbands.
She states, ” Confronting can make her incredibly anxious”. In such situation, ‘presence’ suggests to fully engage.
The books discusses about how to argue when you are right or you can say “the situation when we feel powerful present, in control, in the moment “- it’s upon us either to use the power to build up the person or tear them down.
‘When you are in such conflicting situation, cuddy explains how to argue when you are right and ‘‘cuddy says. ‘‘The first thing to do is to be present enough for the other person to speak first. By doing this you are not losing your power but simply give chance to the other person to feel seen and understood.”
The other person gets the chance to be part of the conversation when you listen to their side. John gotten, relationship guru says, you are allowing the two to kick around the problem like soccer ball.
If the other person is saying something objectionable, ” I think you have to bite your tongue. I do. I think you have to wait”. Cuddy says, first of all, when you respond in that anger, you’re definitely not going to respond well.
But if you get patience for a while, you’ll come to know the main reason of the conflict. Then you can get yourself excuses by saying, ” I need to step away for a moment. ”
Even if you don’t get to know the reason of fight, at least you will have nuggets of wisdom to think how to take care of the situation.
Simple fights on the topic like ” cleaning the toilet” can put the person in a wrong basket but it surely doesn’t mean that he/she will not gain anything. You can take this as a teaching on how to take care of the household chores from here on.
Thus it’s quite obvious not to fight like cats, instead try and listen to each other’s thoughts which should eventually solve the problem.
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